Anger, Compassion, and What It Means To Be Strong | Russell Kolts | TEDxOlympia







While anger can feel powerful in our bodies, many of us use angry behavior to avoid dealing with things that make us uncomfortable. Compassion gives us a way to be strong that helps us courageously face the things that scare us—about the world, and about ourselves—and help make them better.

Russell is a licensed clinical psychologist and Professor of Psychology at Eastern Washington University, where he has taught for the past 16 years and has received numerous honors including twice being named the associated student body’s Faculty of the Year. Dr. Kolts has authored and coauthored numerous books and scholarly articles, including The Compassionate Mind Guide to Managing Your Anger, An Open Hearted Life: Transformative Lessons for Compassionate Living from a Clinical Psychologist and a Buddhist Nun (with Thubten Chodron), and the forthcoming Buddhist Psychology and CBT: A Practitioner’s Guide (with Dennis Tirch and Laura Silberstein). Dr. Kolts has pioneered the application of Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) to the treatment of problematic anger and regularly conducts trainings and workshops on CFT.

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at http://ted.com/tedx

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I know anger makes me strong and I also know it's bad for me coz anger will cooldown later, leaving me to face the circumstances that I've created out of anger alone. So, I try so hard…so so hard to control my anger. But I fail, it controls me, I'm not controlling it. There's a improvement so far but this people are so annoying, even a people who are close to me. And I've mental illness. I've Cyclothymic disorder, severe social anxiety disorder. I just wish I could put all of these to an end.
I've seen a glimpse of depression-free life and God!! That felt good. I wish I could live like that forever.

Thank you so much I have struggled with intense anger for many years I'm 32 and have a wonderful family who just tonight i treated horribly now I can work toward being who I want to be and who I know I am in my heart.

This hit me hard because I am 12 years old and am driving everyone away from me because of it,anger,my mom came right out and told me I need help she thought I didn't know,but it just fueled it even more.

also if all fails, abandon those you love when they need you the most, to the point of complete oblivion and self destruction and even if it calls for losing their sanity just do it cause it works every time lol

Thank you! Your speach change the perception about myself.I feel angry very often and even if I want to controll it it's impossible.I probably need more time to calm myself and to think the consequences of my anger feelings. Yesterday,becouse of my anger, I hearted emotionaly my parents and after 10 minutes I felt very sorry becouse they dont deserve the way I behave.It's an everyday struggle and I found very difficult to handle the situation when I feel that way

Russell does the laid back west coast presentation storytelling style well, but there is little empirical evidence for his Buddhist-informed compassionate focused approach at this time — while it may have a role in some types of motivational interviewing, it may also reduce personal responsibility (e.g., his, "it is not your fault" (it is your temperament), message is potentially counterproductive, a common excuse for abusive and impulsively violent individuals — including many violent offenders). This reminds me of naive approaches which believe that raising the "self-esteem" of violent individuals will reduce their angry outbursts and criminal behaviours; the research shows otherwise.

Patients should seek out practitioners who apply evidenced-based interventions, particularly CBT. Psychotherapists would do well to read up on a comprehensive, research informed, book, such as: "Anger Management: The Complete Treatment Guidebook for Practitioners" (2015) by Dr. Howard Kassinove and Dr. Raymond Chip Tafrate. The latter has recently co-authored a book specific to offenders: "CBT with Justice-Involved Clients: Interventions for Antisocial and Self-Destructive Behaviors".

I used to be angry subconsciously, then people around me helped me become aware of it, so I suppressed it and now I feel powerless and feminized…I want my anger back, but once it's suppressed it's like I lost my balls and can't get it back. I think men need to let out their power and society is calling it 'anger" and shaming them for it.

Typical "soft male" (anti-masculine, feminine politically correct) approach that generalizes that ALL anger is unhealthy and dysfunctional, turning toward Eastern religion and feminine dominant perspectives as a way to reject healthy masculinity.

TEDx sucks, TED without the x, not so much. TEDx content never EVER delivers what the title sells, TED not so much. That's why TEDx sucks, TED without the x, not so much.

His voice may be mellowing me out a bit. I think I feel angry because I have trouble being with people or feeling rejected & unappreciated.

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