The lies our culture tells us about what matters — and a better way to live | David Brooks







Our society is in the midst of a social crisis, says op-ed columnist and author David Brooks: we’re trapped in a valley of isolation and fragmentation. How do we find our way out? Based on his travels across the United States — and his meetings with a range of exceptional people known as “weavers” — Brooks lays out his vision for a cultural revolution that empowers us all to lead lives of greater meaning, purpose and joy.

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Not Bad, it is an Upper Middle Class Reflection. Some Genuine Quality. Weave, Nice Thought. However, Individuality is Important, So is Relationships. The Weavers sound Like Cool People, the Sixties, Seventies Definition of Cool. You Americans are Great, David makes the Point Americans have Work to do, Not the Work of the Hammer, Keyboard or Driver, the Work of Humanity. Good Luck to You All.

Freedom to crush children with shame guilt and condemnation for being a boy is causing the explosion of suicide. The over compensation to destroy anything men and anything masculine is killing people. Men are being held responsible for every evil thing done by any criminal. Men are chiden for not being empathetic care givers. I have become crushed for the way I was born. Yet I am comfortable being a man because of my religious faith and my deeply held responsibility to be a great guy, a great husband, and a great provider.

A free people require strong men. And in my mind, being a strong and polite man is part of my God given job.

We have normalized abortion and single parenthood as perfectly fine. It is not. The only measurable priveledge in our nation is children with a mother and father in the home sharing their expectations of their children becoming great adults that can yes 'achieve' in business, create and produce AND provide for community the examples of pride in participating in a family that grows their children to contribute to their own individual strength and to contribute to inspiring others to grow into strong individuals to her women as FULL EQUAL women that STILL deserve our protections and courtesies from the men and women that take, take, take from all around.

Our prisons are filled with children that we're raised with one parent or less.

Priveledge comes from a TWO parent family with balance between protection, teaching, and expectations to become a strong adult that takes care of themselves, their children, and their community.

For the last 50 years I have watched the shameful demasculinization of men. I assure you when our string righteous men are too few, the normal amount of evil doers will see weakness and take what they want.

The rich country with weak men will be invaded and destroyed from within and then from outside conqueeors.

Our boys are being systematically crushed and shamed for the sins of criminal males before they were born.

Let's start there.

How we think about ourselves is much more important than how others think about us. If we can make some difference in our lives, in others lives, we are proud of ourselves and what we do, have no fear of what others think of us. LOL.

There are some people that like to be alone the majority of the time because that's how their personality type is. But that doesn't mean they doesn't enjoy talking and sharing their ideas to their loved ones.

Purpose can represent something true or false for me I came from a family that was dysfunctional. So for me it's always absolute confusion to believe something that like at as a result always becomes more or less not there ? Because it is based on you have to or you must do something ? So I prefer Taoism Lao Tzu as it only states that to "do nothing and you will have done everything " Because like breathing you are doing something easy for you something that as he says takes you away from your ego. Ego is the enemy within in in Taoism something that is nothing but dreams or delusions Our knowledge or knowledgable people to often separate themselves from us which is actually not knowledge and true ignorance. Why only have a mind with no body ? To change is conscience without doing anything at all
just doing without doing No force is required in the Tao softness is life hardness is death . Being is born from non-being because you are being yourself you don't notice
yourself honesty The Tao is not a religion and Tao Tzu would roll over in his grave if it were ever truly regarded that way. It is the writings of the ways of life a guide for life and how life changes. We know about sociopaths now and it worth looking up because we are not truly informed about them . We know what a narcissist does potentially however to not realize they exsist is again disconnection with life

Beautiful indeed. If a man wants anything approaching happiness and/or a well-lived life, he needs to find friends, a good wife and he needs to hold on to those people at all costs. Those relationships will be the foundation for whatever comes next — professional success or failure, health or the lack of it — all of it.

Urantia paper 143: Love is the greatest of all spirit realities. Truth is a liberating revelation, but love is the supreme relationship. .. love is the greatest relationship in the world—in the universe—just as truth is the greatest pronouncement of the observation of these divine relationships.

this is what happens when you live in a bubble, what a sad and depressing person, life is a blessing and should be celebrated everyday im way to happy to agree with any of this

“The decisive question for man is: Is he related to something infinite or not? That is the telling question of his life. Only if we know that the thing which truly matters is the infinite can we avoid fixing our interests upon futilities, and upon all kinds of goals which are not of real importance. Thus we demand that the world grant us recognition for qualities which we regard as personal possessions: our talent or our beauty. The more a man lays stress on false possessions, and the less sensitivity he has for what is essential, the less satisfying is his life. He feels limited because he has limited aims, and the result is envy and jealousy. If we understand and feel that here in this life we already have a link with the infinite, desires and attitudes change.” – Carl Jung, Memories Dreams and Reflections

Sir , you have some big balls and I respect you greatly for that talk you just gave! You could tell it was tough on you but you did it you got through it excellent!

It is David Brooks at his very best!

I felt particularly enthralled and involved because I could relate personally to some of his experiences.

The difference between happiness and joy is a truly classic notion that no population can fail to learn and appreciate.

Well done, David Brooks!

More often than not I hear talks such as this where people is always referring to Americans. Why? Aren't the rest of the wold people having the same problems? Why Americans exclude the rest of world? Every thing is about Americans as though the planet earth is only inhabited by Americans.

Lies like "it is morally questionable to leave your first wife while writing your book on integrity to date and eventually marry your much younger research assistant," eh, David?

It is a shame that you cannot trust people enough to truly "put yourself out there" to them. The odds that a significant other will betray you (and I don't mean fool around on you, or simply leave you. I mean destroy you!) are way too high.

I have been a fan of your work on Shields and Brooks for years. Your analysis is always insightful and balanced. Having also lived in the valley, I enjoyed the accuracy and thoughtfulness of your TED speech with the added dimension of your passion. You nailed it.

I never knew my father other than I was afraid of him. He never really came back from WWII, except as a shell of a man. I may have overcompensated a bit, but my son who is 32 now is my friend.

“Happiness is the expansion of self. Joy is the dissolving of self. Joy is the moment the skin barrier disappears between a mother and a child… it’s the moment you have totally self forgotten. Joy is the better thing to aim for than happiness.”

This guy is clearly taking about the needs of extroverts. However, if an introvert gets out there, leads groups to do good things. They have given up more then an extrovert. They get little reward outside the fact they are helping people.

Dave, the main reason I'm so cynical and distrustful of our society today is the conservatives you once worked with, and whom you still all but refuse to blame for their significant role in sowing divisions. You ride the fence when they turn nasty and then act surprised about this outcome…

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